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Marriage is a fickle beast, which few can truly claim to have figured out.

Combining your marriage and your working life then, is as sane as dressing in a steak bikini to go swimming with sharks.

The Madinat is themed to resemble an ancient Arabian village.

But to say the Madinat is themed doesn't begin to express the intensity and opulence and areal extent of the theming.

And the supercool parts—the parts that, when someone tells you about them, your attention drifts because these morons have to be lying (no one dreams this big or has that much available capital)—those parts are all going to be built in the next five years.

And actually, the cool parts—the parts that have won Dubai its reputation as "the Vegas of the Middle East" or "the Venice of the Middle East" or "the Disney World of the Middle East, if Disney World were the size of San Francisco and out in a desert"—have been built in the last ten years.

The Kiwi was dipping a towel in a lake during the 2006 Ryder Cup, when he dropped the nine-iron in his other hand. Luckily, Tiger refrained from asking him to fetch it and still went on to beat Robert Karlsson 3 and 2. Lawrie broke the news to Byrne 10 minutes before the second round of the event, though it wasn’t received as well as he would wish and Byrne stormed off, leaving the Open champ with just 10 minutes to find a replacement.

The abruptness of it all caused concern to Byrne’s family back in Dubai, who immediately thought that something serious must have occurred.

If a partner asked you (while undressed in the bedroom) to pretend to be something you’re not, say a cashier at a grocery store or a famous astronaut, you would:a.

(An Indian kid shouted, "Dad, looks like a microchip!

") Driving in from the airport, you're struck by the usual first-night-in-new-country exotica ("There's a "), and the skyscraper clusters were, okay, odd looking (like four or five architects had staged a weird-off, with unlimited funds)—but all in all, it was, you know, a city. The Madinat Jumeirah is, near as I can figure, a superresort consisting of three, or possibly six, luxury sub-hotels and two, or maybe three, clusters of luxury villas, spread out over about forty acres, or for all I know it was twelve sub-hotels and nine luxury-villa clusters—I really couldn't tell, so seamless and extravagant and confusing was all the luxury.

"Lots of people have been asking my parents whether it was anything to do with drink or drugs and even the other players have asked me what went wrong,” said Byrne, forcing Lawrie to later clarify matters and make amends.

Byrne later revealed that it wasn’t Class As or moonshine, but bananas that caused the rift.


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